The pick up line

I have zero "game" when it comes to picking up women but that fact doesn't really deter me from being great if a situation presents itself like it did last night.

I was sitting at a random bar on Bardstown road in Louisville, Kentucky when this crazy beautiful blonde sat next to me. Immediately I assumed she was a prostitute so I minded my own business but she was desperate to talk and get drunk so at some point it was impossible to ignore her.

Once we got to talking for a minute I fell in love with her which is probably a character flaw but who cares. I don't know what the conversation was about or where it was going but at some point I said "I didn't know I'd be sitting next to the most beautiful woman I've ever seen in my life."

Even while the words were coming out of my mouth I was thinking "you are NOT actually going to say this to this person" even if you're half sincere about it.

Melissa (which I believe is her REAL name) reacted as she should have by almost leaving. Who could blame her after hearing the cheesiest line she's maybe ever heard in her life delivered by some old Texan she just met who just had a shot of Don Julio tequila and who could be her father.

Strange as it may seem, though, she stuck around.

I don't know if Melissa will ever read this story but if she does I'd like her to know that as cheesy as that line was I'm even cheesier when I'm NOT drunk and I'm also a VERY accomplished stalker (her middle name is Marie) so you better get a restraining order FAST!


(sometimes I write stuff just to amuse myself)

What I'm taking out of my Louisville bar experience from last night is that this is a nice, fun town with nice, fun people and I LOVE that the bars stay open until 4 am and thank the LORD Dallas bars DO NOT stay open until 4 am.

Thank you to the 3 people who will read this. I love y'all!