Happy May!

I don't blog much but it's midnight and too early to really start my Monday so I figured I'd just tell you a story.Β 

Once upon a time there was a duck Β πŸ¦†. By the way, during the course of this story I'll use all of the suggested emojis whenever my iPhone πŸ“± shows one. It'll make the story more fun. Idk 😐 if they'll show up in the blog post or not but I guess we'll see πŸ‘€.

Where was I? Oh yeah, the duck πŸ¦† I've decided to change the beginning of this story.Β 

Once upon a time there was a long race 🏁.

It was so long that nobody actually ever finished. But people really loved the race 🏁. People watched with great πŸ‘ interest every day.Β 

One ☝️ day General Felt fell. It was feared he may have to withdraw from the race 🏁 but luckily his fall was broken some by Mr. Delicious πŸ˜‹ so he was able to continue. Also General Felt and Mr. Delicious πŸ˜‹ are gay.Β 

Over time the race 🏁 began to become less intense than a fondue party πŸŽ‰. So people started to become disinterested. Even Mr. Delicious πŸ˜‹ wasn't interested in the race 🏁 and he was IN it.Β 

After Mr. Delicious πŸ˜‹ withdrew from the race 🏁 he started a game show called "What Are You?" Β It was a gigantic hit. He was so happy 😁 his game show made it big he bought a Lexus for his boyfriend Trey.Β 

Trey met Mr. Delicious πŸ˜‹ while he was on holiday in Venice. Mr. Delicious πŸ˜‹ ran off a bridge and Trey jumped in the icy ❄️ water and saved him. Another woman also jumped in the icy ❄️ water but she died.Β 

The train πŸš‚ left later that day for Holland. Malcolm didn't understand anything about what had happened with Jill but he knew that if she wanted her purse πŸ‘› she would have to follow him. Just before he boarded the train πŸš‚ with Jill's purse πŸ‘› a monkey πŸ’ attacked him. Malcolm tried to hang onto the purse πŸ‘› during the attack but the monkey πŸ’ was too fast. He snatched the purse πŸ‘› and was on top of the train πŸš‚ making nasty 😷 signs and monkey πŸ’ noises at Malcolm before you could say "peppermint."

Malcolm and Jill helplessly watched the monkey πŸ’ disappear into the distance. Jill didnt know what to do without her purse πŸ‘› so she began to make monkey πŸ’ gestures and noises. Malcolm didn't know what to do either so he broke out his fiddle and played The Devil Went Down To Georgia πŸ‡¬πŸ‡ͺ.

The next day Malcolm was a contestant on "What Are You?" Β Nobody could guess that Malcolm was a fiddler purse πŸ‘› theif so he won. He used the prize money πŸ’° to buy Jill a new purse πŸ‘› with 26 packs of gum inside. Jill was so happy 😁 she shit herself.Β 

The End.Β