Sex dreams - A performance analysis

First of all I'd like to thank you if you are a woman who has graced me with her presence in my dreams. In real life you may not even know I exist but for whatever reason you decided to show up very sex-deprived in my dream world and eager to fix the problem. How exciting for both of us!

I'm nothing if not a realist, however, and as amazing as your performance was in my dream it's highly doubtful you'd be able to live up to that in real life.

Now I know what you're thinking. You're like "whatever, I'm better than you could ever imagine, mister man!" Well maybe so but let me explain.

When you're performing at your peak chances are you're highly attracted on a physical level with the man you are "engaged with" let's say. I'd say fucking but this is a family blog. Lol. Well it used to be. That didn't last long.

Anyway the point is that if you are a fantasy of mine I'm obviously attracted to YOU on a physical level but chances are you might not share that same attraction to me. I mean you might but I don't see women fainting when I walk through a bar so I'm just guessing I'm no George Clooney (or whoever your personal McDreamy is.)

That being the case you I can't see you attacking me with the same fervor you do in my dreams. Now I'm not saying you would be bad because there's no such thing as bad sex but living up to a "dream performance" is hard for even the most motivated woman.

All that said I would like to extend an invitation to any woman who has lustfully attacked me in my dreams to attempt to surpass that in real life if she'd like. :-D I'm a pretty busy dude but I could probably fit in you... err fit you in somewhere. My number is 469...

You're a what? I'm a Mungarian!

So yesterday I was baptized and yes it was a special day I'll never forget. But a little lost in the joy of being born again was the fact that I also became an official Mungarian by joining Munger Place church.

So now I'm a Mungarian. But what does that mean? Well I think the most important thing it means is that I try a little harder each day to worry so much about fulfilling my OWN needs and start to concentrate more on fulfilling the needs of those around me.

You've probably heard more than once in your lifetime that you have to "look out for number one". And man have I done my share of that in my life. One could argue I've never looked out for anyone BUT number one.

I believe being a Mungarian means I need to begin to stop being so much about self and start reaching out to at least one other person each day and simply asking "what can I do to help YOU today?"

Today I begin my new life as a humble Mungarian on a not-so-secret mission to help my fellow man so we ALL can be fulfilled and lead healthier happier lives. It's a task I won't take lightly.

Have a wonderful week and God bless you!

Pot

I tweeted my next blog post was gonna be about either toy making or pot. I don't have any experience with the former so I guess we'll talk about pot. Do you smoke it? Do you farm it? Do you sell it? What is your affiliation with pot?

I personally don't do any of those things but I'm not opposed to those who do.

One of my first ever home pages on the interwebs (way back when we used to call em home pages) had a tag line that said "A friend in need is a friend without weed." I thought it was pretty clever/funny but it was way before I even tried my first funny cigarette.

A woman came by the page once and felt compelled to send me an email about something she had read. Of course I took that to mean that she wanted to date me so I asked her out. She said "sorry I don't date potheads." That still makes me chuckle to this day.

Although I did finally get "higher than the Empire State" (to borrow a Fun line) later in life I never really became the pothead Miss Prude wouldn't date.

I guess I'm just waiting until it's legal in all states. Then I'll be good to go. Man. ✌️

The Turnaround (a LONG overdue blog post.)

Hi. Wow, it's been a while since I've written an honest-to-goodness blog entry. Can you even remember? Neither can I. It's sad, really, because writing has always been cathartic for me. Is that the right word? Let's just go with it even if it's not. I don't feel like looking it up right now. The point is that I enjoy writing and I really should force myself to do it more often. I saw one of those inspirational posts that are a dime a dozen on Facebook but part of its message was simply to do what makes you happy. So I'm writing. Because (if you haven't figured it out by now) writing makes me happy. Hell, I'd go even as far as to say it makes me :-)

You KNOW you're happy when you end a sentence with a smiley face. That's another level of happiness right there. 

Anyway, where were we? Oh, yeah. Nowhere. Well, let's go somewhere, shall we?

I wanna talk a little bit about God. Is that gonna make you uncomfortable? Well, I'm gonna do it anyway. I made a decision to renew my faith recently and since I've done that and really committed to it wonderful things seem to be happening day after day. I don't think it's just coincidence either. I think God is bringing me abundance because I'm back on his side again. At this point can I just say I'm addicted to mandarin oranges? Man, I love those things. 

But yeah, God. He's gettin' it done for me and I'm SO happy and thankful. Tomorrow I'm gonna be baptized and join my local church and it's going to be a wonderful day because my family is gonna be there to watch and support me and I love them all very much.

Thank YOU for supporting me too by reading this short little blog entry all the way through. Even if you stop right now I'm still counting it. If anyone hasn't told you yet today, you're awesome. Peace.