An explanation of the difference between an egg and a horse

February 19, 2015

To whom it may concern:

It has come to my attention that you or someone you know requires an explanation of the difference between an egg and a horse.

Okay, first of all, are you kidding me? There's someone in the world that doesn't know the difference between an egg and a horse? No offense, but these two things are very different! Are they human? If they ARE human, they must be a day old or something.

Even though I'm not sure why somebody needs to know this information, I guess I'll explain the difference anyway because I enjoy doing things that don't make too much sense.

But seriously. 

If I were whoever this is, I would be careful to whom I tell I don’t know the difference between an egg and a horse. Because most people will think they're crazy and/or have completely lost their marbles.

That said, off we go.

Let’s start with the basics of what each thing is. 

Webster’s dictionary defines an egg as “the hard-shelled reproductive body produced by a bird and especially by the common domestic chicken.” They’re usually white and very small, kinda oval-shaped. Eggs are NOTHING like a horse. Here is a picture of a common egg:

A horse is defined as “A large hoofed mammal (Equus caballus) having a short-haired coat, a long mane, and a long tail, domesticated since ancient times and used for riding and for drawing or carrying loads.”

Is the person in question starting to get the picture now about how much different these two things are? It’s like night and day. I’m still a little worried about this person if they don’t know the difference between these two things, but I’ll just continue. Here is a picture of a horse:

Now can whoever tell the difference? To give you some perspective the EAR on the horse in this picture is probably bigger than that egg in the picture above. If you wanted to, you could probably ride this horse somewhere, but if you tried to ride that egg anywhere, not only would you not get far, you’d most certainly smush it and stain your pants. An egg fits in the palm of your hand and the tiniest horse wouldn't even fit in TWO hands on day one.

(as a semi-related side note, horse size is generally measured in "hands". However, if the person in question is unclear about the differences between eggs and horses they're certainly not going to grasp this so we'll just move on. Also, eggs have a complex system of measurement we won't get into either other than to say that there are small eggs and there are big eggs but for whatever reason the people in charge of eggs have decided to have 10 different size categories, none of which are very clear to the average consumer.)

So there you go.

I hope whoever needed to know this is clear now about the difference between an egg and a horse. 

If you or your moronic friend would like an explanation of another two things in the future, please don't hesitate to leave a comment below or email me and I'll do my best to provide another detailed explanation. Also you could Google it, but what fun is that?

Have a great day!

Best Regards,


Certified in the art of explaining the difference between two things.

Level: Expert

Siri writes another blog for Nick

This is my second attempt at Siri writing a blog for me but the problem is that you have to talk really fast otherwise he stops and I don't know how much breath I have but I don't that I don't have enough breath to just keep on talking and talking at the buzzer going to Diablock like that's

How did this happen? The story of @NickSilly and @MistyBeautiful

February 15, 2015

More than one person, including Misty herself asked me how I came to become friends with Misty Romano yesterday so I thought I'd take a moment to explain. In the form of a novel.

Chapter 1: The Meeting.

Many years ago I realized that Twitter was a place where I could make some real connections with people. During that time I followed many local people of interest and one of those people was Misty Romano (also known as Misty Beautiful and Misty Sunshine). But of all the people I followed Misty was different in my eyes for two reasons. 1, she was pretty much THE most gorgeous woman I'd ever laid eyes on and 2, she was so real. I felt like I could relate with her every tweet.

As is the case with MANY men, I developed a crush on her. It's commonly known as "the Misty spell". It's powerful. So I was more than a little smitten before we ever even met.

The day we finally DID meet was interesting. She was at an event in Dallas. It wasn't far from me and it was interesting so I thought I'd go check it out. I was apprehensive about meeting this "girl of your dreams" in person but I thought "oh get over it. 1, she's got a bodybuilder for a boyfriend she's head over heals in love with and obviously gaga over; 2, she's just a normal girl that you kinda know anyway because you tweet back and forth a lot; and 3, you could be her father."

So I ditched my fears and said to myself "let's just go see what she's like in person." When I got there and saw her for the first time I was kinda awestruck. But the funny thing was she thought nothing of it at all and just started talking to me like we'd known each other forever. I said "I'm Nick from Twitter." She said "I know who you are" and kinda rolled her eyes. Then a little later she talked to me about some problems she was having with another model friend of hers and asking what I thought about it. I told her what I thought and then she told me to tweet her boyfriend at the time to let him know she'd have dinner ready later or something along those lines. Lol. I was happy to help her out. I still have a picture we took together that day after which she exclaimed "Awww, we look so good together!" That made me feel special and if you know anything about Misty that's how she makes EVERYONE feel that ever gets the pleasure of meeting her or being around her for any amount of time.

I came away from that day not thinking anything other than she was everything I'd ever hoped she'd be and more in person but also thinking that there's no way in hell we'd ever have anything greater than an acquaintance because of all the circumstances that were in the way. In retrospect that was a wrong way to think and we actually could have started our friendship way back then. The only reason we didn't is because I let my own thoughts stand in the way.

Sometimes things we really want in life don't happen for no other reason than we convince ourselves that they can't.

Funny dream wherein I walk into a play and become the main character

In this dream I was eating paper and walking thru New York City not really paying attention when I accidentally walked into an outdoor play that was going on.

When I realized I was in a play I tried to gracefully get out but I couldn't.

The narrator adlibbed me as a character in the play trying to escape. I really was trying to escape but now I was more also taking his direction on how.

Then all of a sudden the paper I was eating turned into a flower and the narrator started saying this was the "sacred flower" the deliverer was to bring so I just went with it and moved toward the center of the outdoor stage holding the sacred flower to the heavens while all the other actors gathered around in awe.

I went from being a dude wandering thru the park eating paper to the main character in a New York street production.

I remember thinking that my wardrobe was completely incorrect for this but the audience was still buying it so I guess it was fine.

Sometimes dreams are fun.

The end.

In the mind of Dez. A humorous take on the catch that wasn't.

Allow me to take you into the mind of Dez Bryant during that crucial catch that wasn't a catch. 

Even Dez himself may not know what he was thinking. But I do.

When he makes the catch he's thinking "Yes! I got it, now I'm gonna stretch for the end zone and score because scoring is what I do and if I don't score there's no guarantee that we'll score from the one yard line and we need a touchdown because a field goal does us no good!"

"But WAIT! If I stretch for the end zone I might lose the ball and they might not call it a good catch! I just remembered that possession rule!"

"But I'm already doing it now and I can't stop myself!"

"OH SHIT! The ball came out! It's just a fumble and the ground can't cause a fumble, but that possession rule. I better try to awkwardly gather it back in. Maybe it wasn't obvious!"

"YES! They called it a catch on the field!! I'm golden!! Even if they go review it and say it wasn't a catch maybe they won't overturn it because it has to be indisputable evidence!"

Call is overturned.

"Fuck. They overturned it. I think I'm gonna cry."

#blog The value of advance planning using the #Cowboys as an example.

In the NFL and a lot of sports they generally put an emphasis on "the next game" and try not to look ahead on the schedule.

While this is a good policy in regards to not overlooking an opponent it can be unadvisable from an overall strategic viewpoint at times.

This week's Cowboys game is a prime example.

They play Jacksonville who sucks. We should be able to beat Jacksonville with a third-string quarterback.

After Jacksonville there is a bye week and we don't play the Giants until Nov. 23rd.

The obvious long-term strategy is to NOT play Tony Romo vs. the Jaguars and let him get optimum rest and rehabilitation time before the Giants game. Hell, you might even go as far as to sit him THAT game as well and let him make his comeback against the Eagles on the 27th, a game that is shaping up to be a key matchup. Whoever wins that game will probably win the division.

So the bottom line is that while it's important to concentrate on the task at hand you always need to factor in the future to ensure that decisions you make NOW will have a positive impact down the road.

#blog I don't blog enough.

This might not be true anymore but it used to be that the number one topic bloggers blogged about was blogging. I always found that amusing. And that's exactly what I was gonna do in this post.

You see, I pay an outlandish 5 bucks a month to keep this blog site up and I rarely blog. It's not right because I'm a good writer. Hell, I've written TWO books. Neither of them were successful by any means but I still wrote em.

The bottom line is that I should blog at LEAST 5 times a month so I'll make that a new goal.

Thank you for reading, kind woman.

#BLOG post: #LTE vs #4G, Weird connectivity happenings with

Me and my computer are in a place today where there is no WIFI. In those times I use the personal hotspot on my phone to connect to the Internet. This generally works well. But today there was a problem. The connection speed all of the sudden went down to 80's dial-up Matthew Broderick in War Games speed. 

Obviously that's unacceptable. 

So I did all the usual things. Unplugged the phone and plugged it back in. Turned off the hotspot and turned it back on. Even powered OFF the phone (now that's desperate.) None of these actions improved the speed. At the top it said "LTE" with 3 bars which is not ideal, I'd like at LEAST 4 bars but 3 was working fine before. 

So then I went into settings and saw one for "Enable LTE". It says if you enable this it makes your data faster, but obviously this was not what I was experiencing. So I did the opposite. I disabled LTE. 

At that point the phone automatically switched to  4G and I got FOUR bars and the speed instantly improved. I was back online! PHEW! (I'm not a person that can tolerate being offline. Until I get reconnected life stops as I know it.)

When I got back online I did a little research and from what I can gather LTE and 4G are the same thing. NOW I was really confused. So I thought maybe it was just a glitch in timing so I switched back to LTE to see. Again with the 96-baud modem. So back to 4G. 

So the lesson is that if AT&T is your carrier and depending upon where you are in the world, LTE and 4G might be different.

We both learned something new today. Fun!