#BLOG Hey, wait. This relationship already happened. A story about how history repeats itself.

June 15, 2015

Hi! I'm Nick. Who are you? Whoever you are, you look fantastic!

So I was just going about my day today minding my own business, getting some work done, having a relatively nice day when it hit me.

A relationship scenario that's happening now with a beautiful woman (who shall remain nameless) ALSO happened to me 21 years ago! In an almost identical fashion. It's amazing how life repeats itself.

So do you want the sordid details? Of course you do!

So 21 years ago I was basically the same dude I am NOW except I was 28 instead of 49. haha. That's not really true because I'm wiser now and I have the gray to prove it. Well, at least I think I'm wiser. Maybe I'm not. In any case, way back then I LOVED titty bars. I was lucky (or cursed) enough to be making loads of cash back then and I just didn't see anything wrong with spending said disposable income on women who enjoyed dancing with little to no clothes on. I was young.


One evening at a club I met a young lady by the name of Kylee. Kylee was cool. I always hit it off with strippers because I'm funny and I smile a lot. (ALL women like that, btw). Kylee liked my sense of humor more than most and actually had a good one herself. Most men (especially if you're a strip club newbie) have this delusion that they can see girls outside of the club. I allowed this delusion to enter my mind with Kylee because while most of the time I'd say I'm not like "most men", many times I'm JUST like them. To my amazement Kylee actually said she wouldn't mind if I wanted to do something outside of the club.

So I followed up later and called her and arranged a date.

She wanted to see some Jean Claude Van Damme action flick I wasn't the least bit interested in seeing but that didn't matter at all because I wanted to do ANYTHING with her. Because she was hot. I was shallow like that. Yes, she was funny, too, but did I mention she was hot?

The date went well but here's where the story gets sad if you're a dude. Somewhere along the line she friend zoned me. I don't know exactly how it happened but it happened and once it does you're pretty much powerless to overcome it and you have two choices. You can either cut the girl off entirely or just accept it and be her friend. I usually decide on option 2 because hot girls come with hot girlfriends and not EVERY girl is going to friend zone you (unless you're me. lol.)


Life goes on and Kylee and I are "just friends" but we still have good times together because we get to know each other well and we just LOVE cutting up pretty much ALL the time. We go out of our way to make each other laugh. She goes through episodes with men that usually end bad and I'm there to comfort her and tell her they suck, blah, blah.. girl/guy friend stuff.

But then something amazing happened. Or someONE amazing happened I guess I should say.


When I found Katie I was done with Kylee. Because not only was Katie just as funny if not funnier than Kylee, she was way smarter, thought I was the funniest guy she'd ever met, and definitely did NOT want me as "just a friend." Katie was "the one." Suddenly the fact that I could never be anything more than Kylee's friend didn't matter anymore. 

But whereas one might think this is where the Kylee story comes to a logical end, one would be mistaken.

About a month or so after I met Katie and we were in the middle of our whirlwind storybook romance I received a call out of the blue from Kylee. She said she missed me and made an interesting proclamation. She said "I've decided we can be more than friends."

I was like "Whaaaat?!?!" I guess she finally realized that I might make a pretty nice boyfriend after all. Well, DUH! I was like "Oh, man, Kylee, I'm sorry but it's too late." I was completely committed to Katie and there was no way in hell I was gonna jeopardize that by even THINKING about dating Kylee at the same time. Plus I didn't want to. I wanted to spend all my free time with Katie.  

Cut to today and I've recently had another Kylee in my life. Another extremely hot funny woman with whom I built a cool friendship because she gave me no other choice. Friends or nothing so I chose friends. The similarities to the relationship I had with Kylee lo those many years ago are undeniable. Well at least they are in my head. ha. 

Nowadays "new Kylee" doesn't even have time to be friends anymore because she's head over heels in love with a new man. And she especially doesn't have time to be friends with a dude who has never been afraid to make it clear he has always wanted more than just a friendship. 21 years ago I was basically a child and afraid to tell women how I really felt about them. These days I go out of my way to tell people how I feel about them because nothing bad ever happens if you tell someone you love them.

I'm not concerned about new Kylee and whether or not she still wants to be friends, blah, blah, blah, because she's beyond happy with her new man and if history repeats itself and the story goes the same way the old Kylee story went I should be meeting another Katie soon. How wonderful will THAT be?!?

OMG, I TOTALLY LOVE YOU, new Katie! ... err um, it's too early in our not even a relationship yet to say that isn't it? Oh well. :-D

#blog The @Kia #Optima rocks!

April 15, 2015

Drove the Kia Optima the last couple days and what a great ride! There's a lot of little things that bug me about cars. For example, if the gas intake is on the passenger's side. Why? Or if it's difficult to find the button to open the gas cap. Again. Wtf? (Apparently much of my frustration involves the gas situation. Lol.)

Anyway, here's a list of other things I really enjoyed about this car:

1. Color. Listed as red but it was like a burgundy. I like any car color that makes me think of Ron Burgundy.

2. The ride. Smooth. I was a little tired during one longer stretch down the highway and I almost fell asleep at the wheel. That's how you know the ride is smooth. I would even go as far to say it beats the Camry in that category and that's saying something.

3. Easily accessible USB ports. This is another thing that annoys me about other vehicles I've driven. They put the USB ports in weird places that are difficult to see or reach. Why? The Optima's ports are right there in front of you and easy to find like they should be.

4. The word "auto" on the lights section of the turn signal. There are actually two things I like about this. The fact that control of the lights is on the turn signal where they should be and that it's easy to identify the setting where you can set it and leave it.

The Optima is up there on my list when I finally decide to be a car owner again. The only thing I would change about it would be to upgrade to leather seats.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it. 

Have a great day!

(Nick Druga doesn't currently own a car so please keep this in mind when assessing the viewpoints above. He does, however, know how to drive but can no longer do so without the use of glasses. He has also driven a number of different vehicles in the past with varying levels of enjoyment.)

Seeking career woman to fiercely love and support

April 2, 2015

There's a successful career woman out there who would love to have a man help take her career to the next level by doing all that computer and social media stuff that's not her strong suit but she knows she needs to be doing.

She would also like for him to provide her with loyalty, love and support, take care of her emotional and physical needs, and make her laugh. If he cooked a nice dinner now and again that would be pretty sweet too. Just someone to come home to after hard days at work whom she can count on would be so wonderful.

Well look no further lovely lady because you've found your man. It's me! I possess all those qualities and more! I'm even easy on the eyes. We should totally get together like yesterday!

My only requirement from YOU is that you love and appreciate me. I don't think that's too much to ask, do you? Oh and maybe go to the gym with me now and again because we gotta stay in shape.

If you're out there, contact me and let's conquer the world together!

Call, text or email me at 469-600-9448 or ndruga@gmail.com.

Peace and Joy to all,


An explanation of the difference between an egg and a horse

February 19, 2015

To whom it may concern:

It has come to my attention that you or someone you know requires an explanation of the difference between an egg and a horse.

Okay, first of all, are you kidding me? There's someone in the world that doesn't know the difference between an egg and a horse? No offense, but these two things are very different! Are they human? If they ARE human, they must be a day old or something.

Even though I'm not sure why somebody needs to know this information, I guess I'll explain the difference anyway because I enjoy doing things that don't make too much sense.

But seriously. 

If I were whoever this is, I would be careful to whom I tell I don’t know the difference between an egg and a horse. Because most people will think they're crazy and/or have completely lost their marbles.

That said, off we go.

Let’s start with the basics of what each thing is. 

Webster’s dictionary defines an egg as “the hard-shelled reproductive body produced by a bird and especially by the common domestic chicken.” They’re usually white and very small, kinda oval-shaped. Eggs are NOTHING like a horse. Here is a picture of a common egg:

A horse is defined as “A large hoofed mammal (Equus caballus) having a short-haired coat, a long mane, and a long tail, domesticated since ancient times and used for riding and for drawing or carrying loads.”

Is the person in question starting to get the picture now about how much different these two things are? It’s like night and day. I’m still a little worried about this person if they don’t know the difference between these two things, but I’ll just continue. Here is a picture of a horse:

Now can whoever tell the difference? To give you some perspective the EAR on the horse in this picture is probably bigger than that egg in the picture above. If you wanted to, you could probably ride this horse somewhere, but if you tried to ride that egg anywhere, not only would you not get far, you’d most certainly smush it and stain your pants. An egg fits in the palm of your hand and the tiniest horse wouldn't even fit in TWO hands on day one.

(as a semi-related side note, horse size is generally measured in "hands". However, if the person in question is unclear about the differences between eggs and horses they're certainly not going to grasp this so we'll just move on. Also, eggs have a complex system of measurement we won't get into either other than to say that there are small eggs and there are big eggs but for whatever reason the people in charge of eggs have decided to have 10 different size categories, none of which are very clear to the average consumer.)

So there you go.

I hope whoever needed to know this is clear now about the difference between an egg and a horse. 

If you or your moronic friend would like an explanation of another two things in the future, please don't hesitate to leave a comment below or email me and I'll do my best to provide another detailed explanation. Also you could Google it, but what fun is that?

Have a great day!

Best Regards,


Certified in the art of explaining the difference between two things.

Level: Expert

Siri writes another blog for Nick

This is my second attempt at Siri writing a blog for me but the problem is that you have to talk really fast otherwise he stops and I don't know how much breath I have but I don't that I don't have enough breath to just keep on talking and talking at the buzzer going to Diablock like that's

How did this happen? The story of @NickSilly and @MistyBeautiful

February 15, 2015

More than one person, including Misty herself asked me how I came to become friends with Misty Romano yesterday so I thought I'd take a moment to explain. In the form of a novel.

Chapter 1: The Meeting.

Many years ago I realized that Twitter was a place where I could make some real connections with people. During that time I followed many local people of interest and one of those people was Misty Romano (also known as Misty Beautiful and Misty Sunshine). But of all the people I followed Misty was different in my eyes for two reasons. 1, she was pretty much THE most gorgeous woman I'd ever laid eyes on and 2, she was so real. I felt like I could relate with her every tweet.

As is the case with MANY men, I developed a crush on her. It's commonly known as "the Misty spell". It's powerful. So I was more than a little smitten before we ever even met.

The day we finally DID meet was interesting. She was at an event in Dallas. It wasn't far from me and it was interesting so I thought I'd go check it out. I was apprehensive about meeting this "girl of your dreams" in person but I thought "oh get over it. 1, she's got a bodybuilder for a boyfriend she's head over heals in love with and obviously gaga over; 2, she's just a normal girl that you kinda know anyway because you tweet back and forth a lot; and 3, you could be her father."

So I ditched my fears and said to myself "let's just go see what she's like in person." When I got there and saw her for the first time I was kinda awestruck. But the funny thing was she thought nothing of it at all and just started talking to me like we'd known each other forever. I said "I'm Nick from Twitter." She said "I know who you are" and kinda rolled her eyes. Then a little later she talked to me about some problems she was having with another model friend of hers and asking what I thought about it. I told her what I thought and then she told me to tweet her boyfriend at the time to let him know she'd have dinner ready later or something along those lines. Lol. I was happy to help her out. I still have a picture we took together that day after which she exclaimed "Awww, we look so good together!" That made me feel special and if you know anything about Misty that's how she makes EVERYONE feel that ever gets the pleasure of meeting her or being around her for any amount of time.

I came away from that day not thinking anything other than she was everything I'd ever hoped she'd be and more in person but also thinking that there's no way in hell we'd ever have anything greater than an acquaintance because of all the circumstances that were in the way. In retrospect that was a wrong way to think and we actually could have started our friendship way back then. The only reason we didn't is because I let my own thoughts stand in the way.

Sometimes things we really want in life don't happen for no other reason than we convince ourselves that they can't.

Funny dream wherein I walk into a play and become the main character

In this dream I was eating paper and walking thru New York City not really paying attention when I accidentally walked into an outdoor play that was going on.

When I realized I was in a play I tried to gracefully get out but I couldn't.

The narrator adlibbed me as a character in the play trying to escape. I really was trying to escape but now I was more also taking his direction on how.

Then all of a sudden the paper I was eating turned into a flower and the narrator started saying this was the "sacred flower" the deliverer was to bring so I just went with it and moved toward the center of the outdoor stage holding the sacred flower to the heavens while all the other actors gathered around in awe.

I went from being a dude wandering thru the park eating paper to the main character in a New York street production.

I remember thinking that my wardrobe was completely incorrect for this but the audience was still buying it so I guess it was fine.

Sometimes dreams are fun.

The end.

In the mind of Dez. A humorous take on the catch that wasn't.

Allow me to take you into the mind of Dez Bryant during that crucial catch that wasn't a catch. 

Even Dez himself may not know what he was thinking. But I do.

When he makes the catch he's thinking "Yes! I got it, now I'm gonna stretch for the end zone and score because scoring is what I do and if I don't score there's no guarantee that we'll score from the one yard line and we need a touchdown because a field goal does us no good!"

"But WAIT! If I stretch for the end zone I might lose the ball and they might not call it a good catch! I just remembered that possession rule!"

"But I'm already doing it now and I can't stop myself!"

"OH SHIT! The ball came out! It's just a fumble and the ground can't cause a fumble, but that possession rule. I better try to awkwardly gather it back in. Maybe it wasn't obvious!"

"YES! They called it a catch on the field!! I'm golden!! Even if they go review it and say it wasn't a catch maybe they won't overturn it because it has to be indisputable evidence!"

Call is overturned.

"Fuck. They overturned it. I think I'm gonna cry."